*Source: Merriam-Webster's dictionary
The most common misconception regarding feminism is that is solely an advocation for women's rights. This idea is flawed. True feminism regards all sexes, genders, races, classes, etc. The stereotypes that exist of feminists as man-haters, is actually defined in a different word "misandry" the counterpart to "misogyny." The reason that feminism, semantically, uses "fem" is for the reason that women for centuries have been unequal to men politically, socially, culturally, and legally and therefore feminism was created to further women's rights to be as equal to men's rights (NOT to SURPASS them). An important note here that will be discussed further later on, is that this also includes unpacking gender roles, roles of "femininity" and "masculinity" which, in turn, is beneficial to men and women.
The thing is, in order for feminism to be a fruitful endeavor we need feminists from all parts of society. Men, women, anyone who identifies with any gender, no gender, or sexuality, anyone of any cultural or ethnic background, or faith. And this begins with self-awareness and consciousness-raising. As Paula Karmen puts it in her book Feminist Fatale:
Consciousness-raising can remind us all that we are not alone; others go through similar experiences. At the same time, the process also reveals important differences that have to be recognized in order for the movement to succeed, such as the special needs and perceptions of various racial groups who help constitute the movement. Without this struggle, without looking at ourselves and those around us, without relieving our isolation, we fail to exploit our greatest potential for power: organizing. (Karmen 5)Furthermore, she states:
We can't undergo personal and political transformations just by existing or picking up a textbook about past injustices. We need to talk to others and challenge ourselves introspectively too. (Karmen 5)
One incredibly important way to use our consciousness-raising is to reflect and shed light on feminist history as Paula Karmen says,
[This] fuels action and reasserts the true meaning and purpose of the movement. The past is vital not only to the present, but also the future. We need knowledge to pass on to our daughters and sons so they can enforce the rights that have already been won. In the past, feminists have made the mistake of ignoring this key factor and, as a result, every generation has had to start almost from scratch. (Karmen 6)This awareness of the past includes what has been accomplished in the past but also what has not. This means thinking about WHO was included in the past and who was not. "That means looking carefully at choice, and who still does not have enough of it. That means seeing beyond one's own experience to make connections to types of oppression blocking other women's paths, such as classism, racism, and homophobia," (Karmen 7). Throughout many past movements of feminism, women of color and women of the LGBTQ community were ignored, excluded, and even discriminated against within the movement. Noticing these atrocities in past movements will help us to create a more inclusive and intersectional movement for now and for the future. This also includes further introspection on the part of white feminists (especially upper-middle-class white feminists who have long made up the majority of the public movement), making ourselves uncomfortable to learn about our mistakes and discrimination towards women of color whether it was intentional or not. We must listen. As Bell Hooks tells us in her book Feminist Theory: from Margin to Center,
Feminism in the United States has never emerged from the women who are most victimized by sexist oppression; women who are daily beaten down, mentally, physically, and spiritually---women who are powerless to change their condition in life. They are a silent majority. A mark of their victimization is that they accept their lot in life without visible question, without organized protest, without collective anger or rage. (Hooks 1)Bell Hooks analyzes this true failure in the movement by talking about the famous author-activist Betty Friedan and her book The Feminine Mystique:
She did not discuss who would be called in to take care of the children and maintain the home if more women like herself were freed from their house labor and given equal access with white men to the professions. She did not speak of the needs of women without men, without children, without a home. She ignored the existence of all non-white women and poor white women. She did not tell women whether it was more fulfilling to be a maid, a babysitter, a factory worker, a clerk, or a prostitute than to be a leisure class house-wife. (Hooks 2)All of these points are vital for understanding feminism and furthering feminism in the right direction. It is also important to note why it is that some feel they don't identify with feminism---which often relates to the false stereotypes in feminism as well as true faults in feminism. Paula Karmen spoke with over a hundred people trying to identify these reasons, to name a few:
First, many poeple explained they are not feminists because they prefer the female way of life, not the male one... Second, with feminism's focus on careers, many without professional ambitions do not see it as relating to them and furthermore view it as antimotherhood... Third, others said feminists deny what is feminine, and fourth they associate feminists with lesbians... Fifth, they think feminists hate men or think that women should be superior to them... Sixth, others didn't see the struggle for women's rights as relevant to them... Seventh and eighth, they said feminists are petty and confrontational... Ninth, others said they are not activist enough about the feminist cause... Tenth, they say that feminism isn't at the top of their list of concerns or they don't follow the philosophy religiously. (Karmen 35-36)My gut reaction here is to get defensive, as I imagine others experience too while reading this. But listening to others' perceptions and understanding of feminism allows us to make the necessary changes in how feminism is perceived and understood, when possible. We have to look past our gut reactions at times to truly continue with an important and inclusive conversation.
Another important factor is to include men in the conversation. It is also imperative that men take the time to listen and listen thoroughly. These are some reasons that Paula Karmen discovered men became feminists:
As with many womenn, instead of looking at feminism as their core philosophy, men tended to look at it within the realm of civil rights issues... Another motivation expressed by many feminist men is to improve the lives of men, who have also been harmed by unhealthy sexist attitudes. (Karmen 273)As I mentioned earlier, feminism is truly about equality and while for the longest time women have been seen or treated as unequal in many facets, gender roles are a problem that has affected men and women both. The idea that men must be strong (physically and emotionally), independent, providers, quiet, and unemotional---this leads to a very unhealthy emotional and mental situation, which brings us to another point that men are often seen as weak or emotional when struggling with any mental illness or disability and fear being shamed for asking for help. This is another sincere concern within feminism, to be fought alongside the fight against the feminine stereotypes of women being overly emotional, unstable, homebodies (forced to be), unable to achieve the same level of knowledge in maths and sciences, needing to always maintain the ideal feminine physique and appearance. Feminism is truly about choices, equality in choices. So that women and men alike can have options to choose from in all parts of life.
While we continue this fight, again, the urgency for men to listen and try to take part in conscious-raising is essential. This is taken from a personal account of a man who chose to call himself a feminist, Jonah Kagan:
SourceI already believed men and women should be treated equally, but I could sense there was something more to feminism than that. I felt like an imposter calling myself a feminist without finding out what that “something more” was. Could men even be feminists? I wasn’t sure.
I had tried to learn about feminism before – I even checked out a gender studies course once or twice – but I always found the writing confusing or pretentious. I searched online for a guide to feminism for men, thinking that might be more approachable, but couldn’t find anything. So I asked some friends for reading recommendations, and started digging into the feminist canon. I learned there were waves of feminism, so I sampled writing from each wave to try to get my bearings. One friend told me about intersectional feminism and pushed me to learn about racism. I told her I was focused on women, so I didn’t have time for that.I read and I read and I read. Books and blogs, everything I could get my hands on. At first, I was resistant to all the angry rants. Why were men always the enemy? I got defensive. My mind shielded itself with counterarguments, deflecting anything that felt like blame. But I kept reading anyway. Eventually I cleared the humility hurdle and stopped taking things personally...When I look back on this journey, I see countless missteps and mistakes. I see how so many of the ways I acted were ignorant, privileged, sexist, racist, and homophobic. I was learning, and learning is messy. I never answered my original questions, or at least, not absolutely. Each question I asked only led to more questions. But slowly I learned how to frame my experiences through a new lens.
Of course, we see how through his journey he separated the ideas of sexism and racism which are inherently intertwined-- and which I truly hope he and others continue learning and listening to see. But there are positive steps as he talks about how it is an uncomfortable journey but one that can change the lens through which you see the world, for the better.
This is also true for those that do not identify as male or female. Feminism is a movement to fight for equality for those that identify with any sex or gender or none at all. Feminism is a movement that needs to include the LGBTQ community, those marginalized and often dismissed or forgotten in previous feminist movements, as stated above by Bell Hooks. This is especially true at a time when the current administration in the United States is marginalizing the LGBTQ community more and more.
