The Intricacies and Difficulties of Depression

I'm not one to hide the fact that I was diagnosed with clinical depression around the age of 16 or 17. And that was after a few years of believing I was depressed with the fear of reaching out. Contrary to what society may still believe, this should not be taboo. Millions, I'd venture to say billions, suffer from some form of depression at some point in their lives, whether clinical/chronic depression or situational. And often, those same people suffer from its partner-in-crime, anxiety.

Now, in my own life, I've experienced many perspectives on this topic. I have personally suffered through excruciating bouts of depression and anxiety myself. And I've watched others do the same. But depression is a tricky bitch to express it mildly. In my experience, and what I've certainly witnessed in others, is that when you're depressed, you're focused on yourself. You think about your shortcomings, how the world has let you down and you feel it must be your inadequacies that led to such a thing. You blame yourself while also blaming the world, the circumstances, and even those around you.

Depression isn't solely mental either. Depression has various symptoms, sometimes symptoms completely opposite of what you'd expect, and opposing each other. Your own symptoms may change and morph into different symptoms than before, different symptoms at different points in your life. Your symptoms may be opposite of a friend's and they may not even see it in you and you may not see it in them. 

For me personally, depression comes in waves. Sometimes I'm happy-ish for a year at a time, then suddenly it creeps in and doesn't creep back out for 6 months for no understandable or discernable reason whatsoever.  And often when depressed I reach out for advice from those I know understand, I use friends as a crutch. I  complain more than anyone I've ever known in my life and expect them to listen, help, and give me all of their attention and support (whether I know that is what I'm doing or not). And in my worst times, I've had people say to me that they could no longer stand me, that my negativity was bringing them down, draining them, and they needed to distance themselves from me. In those times, I thought "What horrible people! How could they abandon me so? Don't they care?!" And that's what depression does. It warps your mind so that all there is you, you and your hurt. And, at times, you have a moment where you realize you aren't the only one hurting and then you feel immensely guilty and blame yourself, but in the blame, you still feel bad for yourself. And what you have to really understand, to continue with the above analogy, if you put too much weight on the crutch, it can collapse. And then you blame it for not being strong enough to hold you up. 

I've reached out to those nearest to me that suffer from the same affliction. And it can be very comforting to know that you are not alone. It can be comforting to see that others experience that same creeping monster that may hibernate or wake up at any given time. But what comes along with these friendships is that you are not alone- meaning they suffer too and need the same love, care, and warmth that you desire when you are depressed. And this can get even trickier.  

You may spend a year feeling horribly depressed, spend the next year taking medication, attending therapy sessions and finally feeling better. But then someone in your life may have their depression monster wake up and pull them down into a year of depression. And you so want to be there. You want to be the support, the love, the tenderness. But you can't or you do for awhile and then you burn out with bitterness. Some people interpret depression as present and then vanished. But in my experience, it doesn't vanish, it is simply at bay, waiting to creep back in. When you spend a year fighting that monster and finally feel good again, it waits for the triggers, it waits. Depression is a daily battle, and sometimes you can't win. And the external struggle on top of the internal struggle makes it harder. 

You wake up every day fighting it, fending it off, sometimes with vigor, sometimes barely holding it back, sometimes giving in and not fighting at all. But while you watch someone else you love go through it, you so strongly empathize without noticing it as an imminent danger to yourself. You see the same signs, the same feelings-- of course, it is different and evolving and changing all the time-- but there are moments where you recognize it in others. And you want to fix that friend's world because you've fixed it for yourself, for a brief time, and you feel strong again, maybe strong enough for both of you. But the problem lies here: if you drain yourself, if you give all that energy to someone else, you lose the energy to fight your own depression monster and then he comes creeping back in. But it's such a difficult, tumultuous thing because you so want to help, and you feel selfish not helping. But if you don't focus on yourself enough, you may fall back into a losing streak. And what makes it even more vicious is that whatever friend is suffering deeply, is so into their own pain and suffering, so overtaken by their own monster that they may not recognize all of your efforts. They may not see all of your attempts to alieve their pain and you don't blame them. They may only see a couple of times you couldn't be there because their depression monster has taken hold and changed their perspective. And when you give so much of your energy that you start to lose again, you start to fall, and that person doesn't even see it or the immense effort you've spent helping them, they only see your moments of absence, it just feeds your monster. 

One thing I've learned in therapy, with the help of medication which allowed me to see more than just me, is that you can react to your depression differently. It's not your fault you feel depressed but you can make changes in how you respond to it, how you react to it, that part is more or less in your control. Definitely sometimes less in your control. But once I started to slowly modify my reactions to my bouts of depression, modifying my behavior, I pushed people away less because I started to see what was pushing them away. I noticed that I was draining their energy for their fight. But we all come to this realization at different times, so while you see it, your friends may not or may have seen it years before you. And of course, you can lean on them sometimes, because they empathize. And they lean on you because you empathize but there must be a balance to keep us from draining each other. This is certainly confusing when you're at your worst because you think they must not love you if they are not there at every moment, but that's not it, they just can't fight for two, not continuously.

This post isn't a post filled with answers. This is a post of confusion and uncertainty. I'd like to say the answer here is to set up clear boundaries. But what do you do if the other person's monster intimidates you so much you can't suggest boundaries? What if you're losing the battle with your monster so hard that you can't push yourself to try to ask for boundaries to help you both be stronger? How do you continue to fight for two? What if that person stops being there when your monster comes out after you've been there for them? What if your monster is too much for you and them?

Depression is a monster that takes all shapes and forms and differs from person to person. It's a daily battle and anyone suffering from it should truly be proud of any small advances on the enemy.

Re-programming Your Brain and Understanding Feminism

*Source: Merriam-Webster's dictionary

The most common misconception regarding feminism is that is solely an advocation for women's rights. This idea is flawed. True feminism regards all sexes, genders, races, classes, etc. The stereotypes that exist of feminists as man-haters, is actually defined in a different word "misandry" the counterpart to "misogyny." The reason that feminism, semantically, uses "fem" is for the reason that women for centuries have been unequal to men politically, socially, culturally, and legally and therefore feminism was created to further women's rights to be as equal to men's rights (NOT to SURPASS them). An important note here that will be discussed further later on, is that this also includes unpacking gender roles, roles of "femininity" and "masculinity" which, in turn, is beneficial to men and women.

The thing is, in order for feminism to be a fruitful endeavor we need feminists from all parts of society. Men, women, anyone who identifies with any gender, no gender, or sexuality, anyone of any cultural or ethnic background, or faith. And this begins with self-awareness and consciousness-raising. As Paula Karmen puts it in her book Feminist Fatale: 

Consciousness-raising can remind us all that we are not alone; others go through similar experiences. At the same time, the process also reveals important differences that have to be recognized in order for the movement to succeed, such as the special needs and perceptions of various racial groups who help constitute the movement. Without this struggle, without looking at ourselves and those around us, without relieving our isolation, we fail to exploit our greatest potential for power: organizing. (Karmen 5)

Furthermore, she states:

We can't undergo personal and political transformations just by existing or picking up a textbook about past injustices. We need to talk to others and challenge ourselves introspectively too. (Karmen 5)

One incredibly important way to use our consciousness-raising is to reflect and shed light on feminist history as Paula Karmen says,

[This] fuels action and reasserts the true meaning and purpose of the movement. The past is vital not only to the present, but also the future. We need knowledge to pass on to our daughters and sons so they can enforce the rights that have already been won. In the past, feminists have made the mistake of ignoring this key factor and, as a result, every generation has had to start almost from scratch. (Karmen 6)

This awareness of the past includes what has been accomplished in the past but also what has not. This means thinking about WHO was included in the past and who was not. "That means looking carefully at choice, and who still does not have enough of it. That means seeing beyond one's own experience to make connections to types of oppression blocking other women's paths, such as classism, racism, and homophobia," (Karmen 7). Throughout many past movements of feminism, women of color and women of the LGBTQ community were ignored, excluded, and even discriminated against within the movement. Noticing these atrocities in past movements will help us to create a more inclusive and intersectional movement for now and for the future. This also includes further introspection on the part of white feminists (especially upper-middle-class white feminists who have long made up the majority of the public movement), making ourselves uncomfortable to learn about our mistakes and discrimination towards women of color whether it was intentional or not. We must listen. As Bell Hooks tells us in her book Feminist Theory: from Margin to Center,

Feminism in the United States has never emerged from the women who are most victimized by sexist oppression; women who are daily beaten down, mentally, physically, and spiritually---women who are powerless to change their condition in life. They are a silent majority. A mark of their victimization is that they accept their lot in life without visible question, without organized protest, without collective anger or rage. (Hooks 1)

Bell Hooks analyzes this true failure in the movement by talking about the famous author-activist Betty Friedan and her book The Feminine Mystique:

She did not discuss who would be called in to take care of the children and maintain the home if more women like herself were freed from their house labor and given equal access with white men to the professions. She did not speak of the needs of women without men, without children, without a home. She ignored the existence of all non-white women and poor white women. She did not tell women whether it was more fulfilling to be a maid, a babysitter, a factory worker, a clerk, or a prostitute than to be a leisure class house-wife. (Hooks 2)

All of these points are vital for understanding feminism and furthering feminism in the right direction. It is also important to note why it is that some feel they don't identify with feminism---which often relates to the false stereotypes in feminism as well as true faults in feminism. Paula Karmen spoke with over a hundred people trying to identify these reasons, to name a few:

First, many poeple explained they are not feminists because they prefer the female way of life, not the male one... Second, with feminism's focus on careers, many without professional ambitions do not see it as relating to them and furthermore view it as antimotherhood... Third, others said feminists deny what is feminine, and fourth they associate feminists with lesbians... Fifth, they think feminists hate men or think that women should be superior to them... Sixth, others didn't see the struggle for women's rights as relevant to them... Seventh and eighth, they said feminists are petty and confrontational... Ninth, others said they are not activist enough about the feminist cause... Tenth, they say that feminism isn't at the top of their list of concerns or they don't follow the philosophy religiously. (Karmen 35-36)

My gut reaction here is to get defensive, as I imagine others experience too while reading this. But listening to others' perceptions and understanding of feminism allows us to make the necessary changes in how feminism is perceived and understood, when possible.  We have to look past our gut reactions at times to truly continue with an important and inclusive conversation.

Another important factor is to include men in the conversation. It is also imperative that men take the time to listen and listen thoroughly. These are some reasons that Paula Karmen discovered men became feminists:

As with many womenn, instead of looking at feminism as their core philosophy, men tended to look at it within the realm of civil rights issues... Another motivation expressed by many feminist men is to improve the lives of men, who have also been harmed by unhealthy sexist attitudes. (Karmen 273)

As I mentioned earlier, feminism is truly about equality and while for the longest time women have been seen or treated as unequal in many facets, gender roles are a problem that has affected men and women both. The idea that men must be strong (physically and emotionally), independent, providers, quiet, and unemotional---this leads to a very unhealthy emotional and mental situation, which brings us to another point that men are often seen as weak or emotional when struggling with any mental illness or disability and fear being shamed for asking for help. This is another sincere concern within feminism, to be fought alongside the fight against the feminine stereotypes of women being overly emotional, unstable, homebodies (forced to be), unable to achieve the same level of knowledge in maths and sciences, needing to always maintain the ideal feminine physique and appearance. Feminism is truly about choices, equality in choices. So that women and men alike can have options to choose from in all parts of life.

While we continue this fight, again, the urgency for men to listen and try to take part in conscious-raising is essential. This is taken from a personal account of a man who chose to call himself a feminist, Jonah Kagan:

I already believed men and women should be treated equally, but I could sense there was something more to feminism than that. I felt like an imposter calling myself a feminist without finding out what that “something more” was. Could men even be feminists? I wasn’t sure.

I had tried to learn about feminism before – I even checked out a gender studies course once or twice – but I always found the writing confusing or pretentious. I searched online for a guide to feminism for men, thinking that might be more approachable, but couldn’t find anything. So I asked some friends for reading recommendations, and started digging into the feminist canon. I learned there were waves of feminism, so I sampled writing from each wave to try to get my bearings. One friend told me about intersectional feminism and pushed me to learn about racism. I told her I was focused on women, so I didn’t have time for that. 

I read and I read and I read. Books and blogs, everything I could get my hands on. At first, I was resistant to all the angry rants. Why were men always the enemy? I got defensive. My mind shielded itself with counterarguments, deflecting anything that felt like blame. But I kept reading anyway. Eventually I cleared the humility hurdle and stopped taking things personally...When I look back on this journey, I see countless missteps and mistakes. I see how so many of the ways I acted were ignorant, privileged, sexist, racist, and homophobic. I was learning, and learning is messy. I never answered my original questions, or at least, not absolutely. Each question I asked only led to more questions. But slowly I learned how to frame my experiences through a new lens.

           Source

Of course, we see how through his journey he separated the ideas of sexism and racism which are inherently intertwined-- and which I truly hope he and others continue learning and listening to see. But there are positive steps as he talks about how it is an uncomfortable journey but one that can change the lens through which you see the world, for the better.


This is also true for those that do not identify as male or female. Feminism is a movement to fight for equality for those that identify with any sex or gender or none at all. Feminism is a movement that needs to include the LGBTQ community, those marginalized and often dismissed or forgotten in previous feminist movements, as stated above by Bell Hooks. This is especially true at a time when the current administration in the United States is marginalizing the LGBTQ community more and more.

Twenty-Seven and Dating

At twenty-seven years old, your Facebook Feed and Instagram Account are no longer sprinkled but showered with happy marriages, friends with beautiful babies, and the apparent perfect romantic life. You feel like you shouldn't mind. You're a strong independent person pushing through life with strength and vitality, but sometimes these posts, images, and words cause a pang in your chest because you wonder if you'll find that one day. And too, at twenty-seven, you've been dating for a decade and you're tired. You don't know where to look, and you don't always have the time or energy to do so.

And when you're like me (and many others) and you battle with anxiety and depression through all of this, you may start to feel like you are not sure if you're valuable. If you are valuable, then why haven't you found that person after so much heartbreak, so many sexual encounters, bad dates, long-term relationships?

Almost two years ago, I was in a serious relationship. I thought this was it. I was completely and utterly entranced by this person and at first, it was amazing. But as a look back now I see the relationship for what it was. It was love that turned into manipulation and gaslighting. I changed myself completely for this person, I lost myself. And I told myself it was worth it, he was worth it. When that relationship ended and I returned home I felt my value was lost and I was in the worst period of depression I had experienced in a very long time. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. I felt fat, ugly, worthless, broken and unable to stand back up and move forward.

I learned a lot from this time. And much of what I'm about to say is far easier to say than to do. But I spent a year doing these things:

1. Finding what I wanted to do. Not what others expected of me.
2. Embracing my passions and making strong friendships through those passions.
3. Analyzing my behaviors and emotions.
4. Going to therapy and asking for help when I didn't know what else to do-- including taking medication to balance out my depression and anxiety.
5. Taking care of myself by going to the doctors' appointments I should have made but I hadn't for years.
6. Moving. Making the changes I felt could help me start fresh.
7. Dating-- the good and the bad!

When you have depression and anxiety, you can't control the thoughts and emotions you go through, but sometimes you can change how you respond to them, how you behave in response. And that is something I'm still working on and takes a lot of self-reflection.

In August of last year, I met Joshua. It was a Bumble date (a dating app). I wasn't even thinking about it too seriously because I had quite a few bad bumble dates and went on this date with the thought "Well, he's cute, just have fun." We've been together ever since.

I'm not saying these steps are the answers to finding love. Everyone goes through different experiences and needs to work out steps for themselves. My main piece of advice is this, remind yourself of these things:

1. You are valuable. Even if you feel others don't see it. Someday, someone will and that is lovely but as long as YOU know it, that's what matters.

2. You are not alone. Questioning your value and feeling lost is something many people go through. maybe everyone else seems to have found ultimate happiness- but they were there once, they weren't sure what to do either.

3. You are strong.

4. Ask for help.

5. Don't fear change, jump into it.

When you're dating for a decade you notice that meeting people is more difficult. The dating pool is dwindling. And everyone has "baggage." I implore you to change that word from baggage to learning experiences. One thing that really, really, helped Joshua and me to bond immediately was our experience. I recently went through terrible heartbreak and so had he. We both spent significant time and effort to analyze our pasts, our behaviors, and what we could do to improve ourselves. I think this is key. We both analyzed our past relationships-- and one part of this is accepting blame for what was your fault (and to recognize what WASN'T). "What could I have done better for my partner but also for MYSELF?" Sure, the end of every relationship is not always your fault, it's not always your flaws that ended it. Maybe you dated a complete asshole. But then you analyze "why did I date that asshole for so long?" or "what parts of me did I lose in the process?" "what negativities did I contribute to it?"

It's important to recognize what you can do better for yourself and your partner. One point that I also think Josh and I do well is communication. It sounds simple but it's not. I've spent past relationships with the thought "This isn't something that is worth talking about, it will just upset him" but if you don't talk, resentment builds. Yes, if it's something frivolous it's important to let it go when necessary but not if it happens frequently (then is it really frivolous? No). And sometimes you have to process what you want to say and how to say it with love and respect-- don't just shout! But don't say you'll think about it, and forget it. And I'm not saying this is happily ever after for me, but I think it is, and it is definitely the best relationship I've been in. And that's because we've both learned so much in our lives. He sees my value and I see his. But we found our own first. We respect each other, our pasts, and our opinions (and we don't always agree). We wake up every day choosing each other, choosing to think about our actions and our words. And sometimes we falter, we miscommunicate or don't notice something hurtful we've done-- but we talk about it, we point those things out to each other and process it together. It is work but it is worth it. You are worth it.

And of course, if you aren't interested in a relationship at all, the above is still important. Your value and loving yourself is something you should carry with you through your life regardless of your romantic situation. And it takes constant work to remind yourself you're valuable, but once you begin to believe it, changes will come. Positive changes.

Any comments are welcome.

Food Insecurity, SNAP, and the Move by the Conservative Right to Starve the Poor and Fatten the Rich

So. THIS has been floating around Facebook in recent days:

There IS SO MUCH TO SAY HERE.

So let me start with a few experiences from my own life.

1. A family member of mine had just graduated from college and was working 2 jobs and still not making enough to buy sufficient food for herself and enrolled in the Food Stamp Program (SNAP).
With these food stamps, she didn't by "junk" she exchanged the food stamps for tokens at the local farmers' market and purchased HEALTHY food. This was a privilege though, as many places across the United States do not have this healthy option. These areas are known as "food deserts" as defined here "Food deserts are defined as parts of the country vapid of fresh fruit, vegetables, and other healthful whole foods, usually found in impoverished areas. This is largely due to a lack of grocery stores, farmers’ markets, and healthy food providers." by the USDA (http://americannutritionassociation.org/newsletter/usda-defines-food-deserts).

2. I also tried to get food stamps struggling with a full class schedule and only 15 hours a week of work and I was denied because I wasn't working enough hours.

3. While I spent my first year teaching after graduating from Ohio University and moving to Columbus, Ohio, I discovered SO much about our country's social programs. My students were refugees from Somalia (for those not familiar with geography, that's in eastern Africa), Bhutan, and Nepal (both located between China and India). They were often living in refugee camps in those countries where they suffered from maltreatment, hunger, illness, and abuse. Arriving in the U.S. these refugees knew literally no English and few knew how to write (as they lived on farms and had no need of schooling). Many of them were over the age of 40, and those from Somalia often had around 10 kids (which is NORMAL AND RESPECTED in their culture). 
These lovely people were required by the government to attend 5 hours of English class every day in order to receive SNAP, section 8 housing, and financial assistance. Many of these students were in poor health and if they missed a day would have their benefits cut for three months. And sometimes their benefits would get cut for this period due to clerical errors by the said local government. Their small apartments were in poor condition, not through a fault of their own. These students also lived in a food desert. They did not have cars and had to walk to find food and the only places with food nearby were gas stations and convenience stores. They did not have the appropriate clothes or shoes (coming from very HOT climates) for the brutal winter in Columbus, Ohio. They could not speak English to express their needs for food or medical help. I acted as a teacher and as a social worker to help them fill out ridiculously long forms in English required by the government and I helped them make various appointments and learn their addresses in case they got lost. These were not undocumented immigrants "sneaking into the country to use the system" (which is an awful stereotype in itself). These were people forced to leave their homes due to war and by force with nowhere else to go. They had to learn everything from scratch. And ALL of these students were enrolled in these programs until they could get jobs-- often horrible jobs in chicken plants, underpaid, long hours, and horrific working conditions. And these are the people you want to send canned spinach to? WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!

And that is just one small part of the large group in this country suffering that ya'll can't seem to stop complaining about. 

SNAP also already has very restrictive rules that apply. My lovely roommate passed along a thread from twitter that really sums it up better than I can:

"Food stamps are grossly inadequate for providing for families, and do not cover non-food essentials you would get in a grocery trip — and other programs don’t really, either. Do you all understand what hunger looks like in this country? Do you really? I’ve seen it. I don’t know if you have. Go work in a school that’s been written off as not good enough and you’ll see it real quick. Hunger in this country rarely looks like the charity commercials you see on TV. What we have here is food insecurity and a huge amount of malnutrition. Junk here is cheap, junk has calories — it’s just, that’s all it has.
You know what one of the cheapest things you can get if you’re trying to maximize calories? In the US, that is, because of how our subsidies work. Cake mix. In a cruel sort of twist, we really can let them eat cake. Cake mixes are generally under a dollar. Eggs are under a dollar. Oil is usually about sixty cents, in a medium-sized bottle. A cake is about 4,000 calories. If you have next to no money and need to, at least, have enough calories to live, you eat cake. And particularly in food deserts, or areas where Walmart has driven out all of the local grocery store options, the other cheapest things are soda and chips (a lot of that has to do with the corn lobby’s power). The result: the cheapest possible things to eat if you are at a desperate point have next to no nutritional value. Having been there, any time someone goes “BUT PRODUCE IS CHEAP!” I want to punch them in the face. The first priority as an animal is consuming enough calories to live — everything else becomes secondary until that requirement is fulfilled. So sure, you can buy a head of lettuce for, say, a dollar fifty, but that head of lettuce does almost nothing to give you enough base fuel to get by. When people scoff at poor people in this country, “oh, they’re not ‘really’ starving, look at how fat they are,” what you’re seeing is people trying to get enough calories from any source to survive, while simultaneously withering from malnutrition. Sometimes, going a significant amount of time between meals; meals with no nutritional value, for that matter. The body enters starvation mode and stores accordingly. This country’s approach to food and poverty is shameful. You cannot pretend a bag of chips and a bag of apples being the same price (often they’re not) and a person opting for chips is poor choice making. A bag of apples doesn’t have enough calories, and that’s the baseline. When you’re in a place where it’s ‘eat food that gives you no vitamins, no protein, no micronutrients, etc.,’ or eating food that doesn’t give you enough basic breakdown of glucose to get your body through another day, you don’t have the luxury to “be healthy”. We screw people over by design, and then lecture them when they take the options most available and pragmatic to them — and then cut their benefits because they aren’t conforming to our standards." FROM @hugwins via Twitter (edited)

What we really need to understand is that there is SEVERE food insecurity in this country that is not being addressed and THAT is the real problem.  

What I've learned living in New Orleans that tourists should know.

New Orleans, Louisiana is a beautiful city that is celebrating its 300th anniversary this year (2018). I dreamt of coming here for many years and I finally have. I have been living here for 8 months and have learned a lot from experience and from my friends that are NOLA natives. I would like to pass along some of this information. If you ever think of coming to visit, here are some good pointers. 

Getting Around the City:

New Orleans has a great public transit system (Well, FAR better than Nowhere, Ohio where I grew up, but not quite as great as other big cities in the U.S.)

The RTA system has an app you can download that allows you to purchase passes for the bus, ferry, and streetcar, these passes include: 1 day, 3 day, 5 day, and 30 day. 

• The Jazzy Passes cover the buses and the streetcar. 
• The Ferry Passes cover the ferry (obviously). 
• The Integrated Passes cover all three (buses, streetcar, ferry).

You download the app, purchase your choice, and it will stay in your "wallet" for up to 14 days. However, once you hit "Use ticket," it counts down until that time period you paid for is up. All you do is show this ticket (from your screen) to the driver. These passes work for the full time (unlimited rides). So if you buy a 1 day pass, you can ride as many times as you need within 24 hours after hitting "Use ticket." Alternatively, you can pay for a ticket on the streetcar/bus in cash and they'll print it out there. But the app makes it easier.

Sometimes there is construction, there are parades, or (of course)there are mechanical failures and some of the lines are down. Usually, if a streetcar line is down, they will have a shuttle bus for those people to continue on their journey. Sometimes, if you are in the French Quarter and must get back uptown, your best bet is to walk to Lee Circle and catch it there (if you don't see streetcars closer to Canal).

Now, this part is important. The St. Charles line is older and has no air conditioning (BUT the windows open easily if you push the tabs and slide them up)
(This is important in the summer when it's literally wet hell fire outside.) 
Also, the St. Charles line has no wheelchair access.
Fun fact: You can also slide the backs of the seats to face your friends! 
The Canal line has air conditioning and wheelchair access, as well as doors that open automatically at the front ENTRANCE and back EXIT of the streetcar. 
The St. Charles line has a front ENTRANCE and back EXIT-- this is IMPORTANT. The back exit feels like it won't open, but when the light above the door lights up green, you must push VERY HARD. This is an important note because people don't realize it functions and shove their way angrily to the front ENTRANCE. Don't be that person. Cranky tourists shoving locals because they don't know the exit works can cause a lot of frustration. We like tourists and welcome them, just try to be polite, please. Many people use these lines every day to get to work and feel the same frustration you do. 


Alternatively, Uber and Lyft do exist in the city and can be great options if you can afford it, but of course, during Mardi Gras and special events, you'll pay more.

Recommendations for Dining and Tourist Attractions:

There are many, many great things to see in this city. A lot of which I have yet to see! But here are some ideas off the top of my head, and I will add more as I go here. 

Café Du Monde: Delicious beignets that everyone has heard about and chickory coffee. It's delicious! Beware, there are often long lines, but it's worth it. And also note, that is pretty much all they serve so don't go expecting much else. 

Muriel's at Jackson Square: This is right on the corner by Jackson Square and the St. Louis Cathedral (founded in 1720, opened in 1794 and a beautiful sight to see too!). At Muriel's you'll find delicious Cajun/Creole/Southern dishes-- it is a bit pricey but yummy. And if you ask to go upstairs there is a balcony overlooking the square-- and a very "sexy" little lounge with red lighting for nightcaps with a romantic partner. This is the view from the balcony at Muriel's:

Café Amelie: Also located in the French Quarter, this is a more upscale café with a beautiful courtyard, brunch, coffee, and drinks served. 

Frenchman Street: Frenchman Street is where you find the music! The street is lined with clubs and street musicians, I like the Spotted Cat, myself. And if you go further (opposite direction of the quarter), you'll find the Marigny area that is recently revamping and has some great trendy places like Pizza Delicious.  

Bourbon Street: Bourbon Street is what everyone thinks of when they think New Orleans. It is tourist central. Here you find gigantic daiquiris, 24-hour bars, strip clubs, bright lights, some music, Voodoo shops, psychic readings and more. It's a fun experience for what it is but it is certainly NOT all NOLA has to offer-- and with the drinks 24 hours and constant tourists, it can be smelly and dirty- so don't be shocked, but that shouldn't deter you from going, it can still be good fun and a very different experience from your non-vacation life. Here is one photo on took on Bourbon:

The French Market: The French Market is lovely because they offer food, drinks, groceries, souvenirs and almost anything you can think of, it's a more European-open-air type market (shown here)

Now, there are MANY AMAZING restaurants throughout the Quarter and the CBD (Central Business District) so feel free to adventure out and about! 

Haunted Tours: I've done these before and they can be lots of fun, though a bit pricey. Make sure to tip your tour guide, it's a lot of talking and memorization and they are often quite funny and energetic!

The Garden District:

The Garden district is along the way to Uptown if you're taking the St. Charles line toward Tulane and Loyola (by the way this is a beautiful ride (lots of very large, old, beautiful buildings, mansions, etc). The Garden District stretches from St. Charles south towards Tchoupitoulas St. (Shortened often to "chop") and the river. There are many beautiful historic sights, and if you head to Magazine Street which is in the middle, you'll see a couple of above ground cemeteries, along with wonderful restaurants, coffee shops, and more!


I highly recommend District Donuts (you'll be amazed!) and Juan's Flying Burrito on Magazine-- I also like Rum House (Carribean Taqueria.

Also up on St. Charles in this area is a place called the Pontchartrain Hotel. Obviously, it's a hotel. But if you enter and take the right (not left) elevator you can go to what was the Penthouse Suite at the very top that is now a bar called "Hot Tin"--styled circa 1940s trendy-- with a great view of the city!

Uptown New Orleans:

This is more of my domain because I live in this area-- although I'm always learning more and don't have too much time or money to venture out. 

On Tchoupitoulas and Napoleon, you'll find a place called Tipitina's. This is a great music venue. Many of the Jazz and Blues greats have and do play here, although many other genres are involved. It is a great spot for music if you don't get to the quarter.

In this area, you'll find some great restaurants like Shaya (award-winning Israeli Restaurant)($$$), Rum House ($$), Dat Dog ($$) (well known local hot dog joint). There are bars along the way. A couple of bars I like in this area include Ms Mae's (this bar is a 24-hour place, and is divey, a pool table, air-hockey table, and often with a cyclical group of regulars. It is CASH ONLY and you must have your ID to enter, but the drinks are cheap and strong), Le Bon Temps Roule (a historic neighborhood bar with live music 4 nights a week, a couple of pool tables, and a divey atmosphere), Buddha Belly (this bar is cool because they have comedy night, karaoke night, and you it is a laundromat-bar, with pool tables. Again, divey.) ** DIVEY to me is a good thing, sidenote.*** and Kingpin (this is a little neighborhood bar with pleasant people and a nice place to feel like a cozy regular).

I've still got many more places to check out. 

On Prytania Street you'll find the historic Prytania Theater- it only has one theater and shows one movie at a time but also plays old classics on certain days and does a midnight showing of Rocky Horror regularly. It's also BYOB.

Uptown also includes Audobon Park and Zoo-- an absolutely beautiful park with a running/biking track (it's worth it to check out!). This park is located on St. Charles and is across the street from Loyola University (fantastic architecture!) and Tulane University. 

I recently went to a couple of places in the Bywater I'd like to recommend although I don't know the area very well yet.

Bratz Y'all: This is a German Beer Garden and Restaurant, it's tucked behind another great restaurant which will be mentioned next. You might not notice it right away but I highly recommend it. The food there is FANTASTIC authentic German food and beer, some of the large plates are a bit pricey (for my salary) but worth every penny! Here are some images:

In front of Bratz Y'all, is Pizza Delicious. And the name doesn't lie! The pizza is fantastic. There are also choices of wine and beer as well. And the slices are big!

One major attraction in the downtown (CBD) area is the WWII Museum, it is a beautiful museum that has a pretty cool set-up. You are given dog tags and a story to follow, you can listen to your person's story as you walk through several buildings to see the many exhibits. 

Other areas of interest include: The Marigny, City Park, Treme, CBD, and Midcity which I don't know much about yet but I intend to! 

Mardi Gras

Many tourists see Mardi Gras as an opportune drunk-fest, but there is much more to it than that!

If you find yourself interested in some of the history, this link contains a bit of history. It also shows the dates of parades and parade routes, along with other tourist information. http://www.mardigrasneworleans.com/schedule.html#

Most of the parades within the city (as there are others in other areas outside of the city), travel along Magazine, Napoleon, St. Charles and down to the Quarter to Canal. 

There are some things you should know. If you attend Mardi Gras in the CBD/ French Quarter area, there are bleachers, scaffolding, and stands set up for you to perch upon to enjoy the parades- though you pay. If you find yourself watching in the uptown area you can watch from the sidewalk and the neutral zone/area (the median) but often people set up seats, tents, and ladders for the kids and camp out until the parades start-- so always get there early (unless you don't care about a good spot). 
Some basic rules that should be followed:

1. While everyone enjoys drinking throughout Mardi Gras, remember that children and families will be in attendance, especially during the day, so don't knock the children over (OR ANYONE for that matter), or steal their throws. This is a happy time for everyone and many families have members on the floats that they are waiting to see. 

2. Do not flash boobies. This is something you will get arrested for if seen by an officer- public indecency is a real thing. Of course, there are sexual innuendos and double entendres, etc. within the themes and costumes of the parade, you can still get in trouble. You don't actually have to do anything but stick your hands up and shout "hey" to get beads.

3. The beads aren't the best part. They throw some really cool stuff, like decorated shoes, purses, cups, hats, koozies, bags, candy, glass beads, and themed items. 

4. Bring a bag to carry your throws. Trust me your neck will get sweaty, tired, and red if you wear them all night (and you'll be pinpointed as a tourist). Bring a bag. You'll want it. 

5. Costume it up! While of course, these are not necessary, it adds to the fun-- but choose costumes that are not racist, please. There are many important cultural aspects to this event, don't be offensive :)

6. Be kind to the officers and local restaurants. Some restaurants on the parade routes stay open and serve during parades. Keep in mind that thousands of people are walking around, running in to use the bathrooms, and they can't prepare food for thousands all at once SO BE PREPARED TO WAIT PATIENTLY. I saw some very horrendous attitudes towards restaurant workers this past Mardi Gras, don't be pushy, they're doing more than the best that they can. 

7. Use garbage cans when possible. This seems obvious, and the city does a wonderful job cleaning up post- Mardi Gras, but it's just frustrating to see piles of trash NEXT TO the trash can. Remember that people live here. 

8. Don't pick up beads off the ground. Now, this is another way to spot a tourist. Think about it, what will you do with all the beads you collect in the end? Just leave them there OR there are occasional empty floats that roll through for the sole purpose of throwing the un-caught beads back. Also, if it's muddy and rainy and people are running in and out of port-o-potties.. well the beads are probably pretty gross. 

9. It's not a sprint. It's a marathon. Pace yourself. If you're here for all of Mardi Gras week, Wednesday through Tuesday, there are many, many parades and events to attend. Don't feel guilty taking a day off, or missing a parade, if you want to last all the way through Mardi Gras Day (Zulu -one of the coolest- rides at 8 a.m. Mardi Gras Day). And make sure to hydrate, if you're drinking four days or five days straight, eat, drink water, stay afloat. 

10. Be prepared rain or shine. The parades will roll no matter the weather (unless it is dangerous for the riders). Bring a raincoat, be prepared. 




This list will be updated with every adventure I take. I hope this helps. And any friends with comments or additions please send me a message and I'll add it!

Also remember, you can drink as you walk through this city. Publicly drinking is a city-wide thing, but please be sure to be kind and throw your plastic cups in garbage cans located on sidewalks and keep our city clean :).



Some images from above were taken by me personally, while others were obtained through Google and I claim no rights!